Friday, June 24, 2005

Bone Idle

The good thing about political correctness and the rightful equality of women, is that it's made it perfectly acceptable to laugh at how useless men are. So with that in mind, ITV Day have come up with 'Mum's on Strike', a new reality show which gives us all the opportunity to do just that, five times a week.

The programme poses the question, "What happens when two hard-working Mums down tools for three days and go on strike, leaving their homes and children in the hands of their husbands?"

What happens? Well, hilarity ensues, obviously.

In today's show, bus driver Tom Goddard, who likes to play Playstation for three hours a day and thinks the bed linen gets changed about once a month, was abandoned for three days by wife Michelle, who headed off to a luxury spa for the duration. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Darren Lupton was suffering a similar fate at the hands of partner Claire.

Rory McGrath informed us via the voice-over that "Darren works night shifts as a fork-lift truck driver. He's bone idle". Yes, Darren works long nights to earn enough money to support his two children and ensure that his wife doesn't have to go out to work, but for the purposes of this programme, he's bone idle. We're here to laugh at men, let's not forget that.

And oh how we laughed as Tom and Darren attempted to get the kids to nursery on time, do the cooking, the washing and the ironing, go shopping for clothes, and get the children's hair cut, all under the watchful eye of 'Parenting Advisor' Anna Raeburn, while the wives chuckled their way through the footage, commenting on just how badly their hubbies were doing.

The three days over, Michelle and Claire returned to their respective homes and gave a verdict on Tom and Darren's performance. Michelle went with "the stairs could do with a brush down", while Claire spotted an ornament on the TV, declared "That shouldn't be there!", and promptly moved it six inches to the right.

Yes, the men were indeed laughably useless. Unlike Michelle and Claire, who naturally would have coped just fine driving a bus and a fork-lift truck for three days in the companion programme 'Dad's On Strike'.

Or maybe not. But fortunately for them, ITV wouldn't dream of making such a show.