But anyway, despite a late challenge from the evil Eu-genius, Anthony was duly crowned winner of Big Brother 6 last night. Whereupon he proved that he still hasn't learnt more than about three 70s dance moves, and declared that the highlight of his time in the house was being shut in a box for two days.
An hour earlier, Kinga had been the first of the final four to leave, cheerfully walking out past an inflatable magnum of champagne, and a banner which read "Ten green bottles, Kinga shagged 'em all", before looking blank and declaring that she had no idea what incident she'll be remembered for. But hey, when you mention your minge on a daily basis, talk about sticking cucumbers up your fanny, and get your breasts out at a moment's notice, having sex with a bottle is clearly no big deal.
Kinga was followed by Makosi and her six faces and three hairstyles. Having been odds-on favourite to win it a few weeks ago, she must have been thrilled to poll just 8.7% of the vote, and walk out to endless boos and some well co-ordinated chanting of "Liar!". It might have been enough to make most people reconsider their behaviour, but fortunately Makosi regretted nothing. She'd obviously forgotten about her weave.
Runner up was Eugene, who emerged from the house finger on nose and making spectacles out of his hands, having clearly decided he didn't look enough of a geek already. Fortunately he managed not to cry, which is a bit of a first, but he did manage to chat to Davina in Morse code, which certainly pleased me. He's so much more entertaining when he doesn't attempt to use actual words.
Anyway, the future looks bright for our Anthony. And if he doesn't have a 70s dancing fitness video in the shops by Christmas, I'll eat my hat. And a slice of Kemal's Mongolian Coconut Cake.